My mother always told me, "Rule #1: Never assume, it makes and Ass out of yo(U) and me!" I have failed at taking this advice often. Lately, I feel that this rule is following me around. In the news, in decisions I make at home, in thoughts I "assume" others have.
Many people have been talking about the Trayvon Martin shooting. So many assumptions have been made by people who are not qualified to make them that few people know the real details of the case. Everyone has an opinion, which they are entitled to, but it is getting harder and harder to form and educated one from the bits and pieces we get from the news, Facebook and in conversation. Personally, I am glad they have arrested Mr. Zimmerman for the simple fact that the truth will hopefully come out and the truth, no matter how ugly it is, will rear its head.
At home, I assume that when my husband isn't flying, certain things are going to get done certain ways. I assume he is going to help with the laundry, make the girls' lunches for school, help with bed time and baths. I also assume he has the right to free time to work on his "project car", do school work- not so much free time- and just relax. However, where my downfall is that I assume more than I ask. Apparently, men like to be asked to do things, even if you have seen it as a routine. When he's home, I assume I can sleep in a few extra minutes...but my 3.5 year old definitely assumes differently! All parents assume they can go to the bathroom....ALONE...but does that ever happen? I guess I need to work harder on asking for help with things and stop assuming others will do them because I think they will. This is not at all a slam on my husband! He is great and a huge help when he's home!!
Early last week we found out a family friend was ill. I once again assumed my mom would want to fly down to Florida to see him, before it was too late. She did not feel the need to say good-bye. I tried to tell her I could fly her down on a buddy pass and even meet her there (She's in OH and I am in NJ) but she still resisted. I assumed I knew how she felt, but I can't, even as much as I tried. I have always been that way and the more I think of it, so has she. I like to say good bye to a person so they can hopefully hear me. She does better saying good-bye when they are already at peace.
Last night, I found out that a 5.5 year old boy, whose story of a
rare illness I have been following since he was born, was gravely ill. It started last week and took a terrible turn yesterday. As everyone was praying for a recovery, I assumed it would be best if he was out of pain and suffering. I felt terrible thinking that, but he had been through so much in his little life, that I didn't think his body could handle all that it was going through. As a parent, I felt like a monster. Shouldn't I want him to stay alive for his parents and family? The answer kept coming back to , "NO." If anyone was put on this earth with a purpose, it was this little guy. His devoted and now heartbroken dad helped register tens of thousands of people for the
National Bone Marrow Registry. His passing was not in vain. His soul needs to rest now so that it can come back stronger another time. He will be reunited with his brother he never knew, because he too died way too young. I assume, down the road, this will bring comfort to his grieving family....at least I HOPE it will.
So as I start my week, I will try to make new assumptions, or better yet...just ask people what they are thinking and feeling!
Many people assume they can't make a difference in this world.
See how one dad made a huge difference in so many lives, despite the personal battles he had to fight!
This post is dedicated to
Giovanni Michael Guglielmo who left this earth 4/16/12
